Beware Feeling You’re Not Good Enough to Deserve It

I’m reading

Life Pro Tip

I’m still in the quarantine phase where I look around my small apartment wondering what else I can fix or projects I can tackle. Sorting through my bathroom cabinets was the obvious answer for me. I love going through my skincare products and culling the herd. It’s very satisfying and very easy to make decisions around because I promise you that most things in your bathroom have already gone bad. Throw them out.

Skincare products and makeup don’t really come with a discernible sell-by-date. It’s annoying. I’m always surprised at what is relatively shelf stable and what isn’t. The shelf-life also really depends on when a product is first opened, how it's stored and the type of packaging. It can be very confusing to keep track of so meet the PAO Symbol:

Most products have a Period After Opening (PAO) symbol which acts as a guideline for when you should throw the thing out after you've opened it. The symbol includes the letter 'm' which stands for month and a number before the letter 'm' (which stands for the amount of months), i.e. '6m' means that once you've opened a product you should realistically stop using this product after six months. Anyway go through your products and throw the old stuff out. You will be disgusted with yourself but it’s OK!

Hang in there

Things you must beware of right now—

A year seems like a lot of time now at this end—it isn’t. It took me three years to reclaim my full flow. Don’t lose your sense of urgency on the one hand, on the other, don’t be too hard on yourself—or expect too much.

Beware the terror of not producing.

Beware the urge to justify your decision.

Watch out for the kitchen sink and the plumbing and that painting that always needed being done. But remember the body needs to create too.

Beware feeling you’re not good enough to deserve it.

Beware feeling you’re too good to need it.

Beware all the hatred you’ve stored up inside you, and the locks on your tender places.

Audre Lorde’s letter to Pat Parker in Sister Love: The Letters of Audre Lorde and Pat Parker 1974-1989, a tiny book everyone should read. Pat Parker and Audre Lorde first met in 1969 and began exchanging letters five years later, a correspondence which continued until the year before Parker’s death.

This newsletter usually goes out on Saturdays but I got stoned and thought it already had. See you Wednesday!