Gentle Suggestions
This is not an advice column
I’m afraid that people forget this is a Muslim and African newsletter. Crème de la Crème is very worldly but we are also very strict and no nonsense about some things over here.
Lighting round:
Do I stay in my relationship (he’s great but broke) or go for this man who is also really amazing and financially stable?
Break up with the broke guy. You can both do better.
I’m seeing someone who I’m pretty sure isn’t “the one,” but I’ve never been in a relationship before, have an easy time hanging out with them, and want to learn more about what I’m like in relationship with someone. At what point is it dishonest for me to continue seeing them if I can’t see it lasting?
You’ve never been in a relationship before? Not a crime. You want to learn something about yourself at the expense of someone else? Jail!
Break up with this person so they can date somebody who doesn’t treat them like an experiment.
I’m not sure if I’m just meant to be friends with my husband and should get divorced or put in the work into the relationship. Is there a good book that explores this?
Book recommendation? You need to be asking for lawyer recommendations.
If you insist on reading books, the Gottmans, Scaachi Koul, Haley Mlotek, Miranda July, Lyz Lenz all have you covered. I believe they would all agree with me that when you are asking a stranger about leaving your spouse, it’s basically a done deal. Congratulations on your divorce.
Who put me in charge of marriage policies? Me! I put me in charge!
And now finally a serious question:
I practice ENM (ethical non-monogamy) with my husband of 12+ years. He does not hook up with others but I have his consent to do so- but he doesn’t want to know anything. Nothing. He’s asked me to lie, essentially. This lack of communication is detrimental to our relationship but I don’t want to give up the freedom I have to explore my sexuality with other people. Should I stop and recommit to monogamy? Or keep hooking up outside of my marriage even though I can see it’s taking a toll?
Crème de la Crème has no qualms with non-monogamy. African+Muslim newsletter for real.
Over here we are bored with ONS but always GGG with our FWBs and not opposed to LTR.
I know all these acronyms because I live in a zip code that I’m convinced is the epicenter of NYC open relationships and also I am in good standing in the kink community but don’t ask about my poly allegations. I can’t talk about that for legal reasons.
You, my friend are practicing the DADT flavor of ENM.
You and I both know what these nosy readers are thinking: does this bitch really mean Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the Clinton-era military policy that technically allowed queer service members to serve if they kept their sexual orientation private? That very bad policy that created a climate of fear and secrecy?? There has be another sexy and mysterious meaning for DADT.
Sorry there isn’t. This is how the non-monogamous people talk. You hate to see it.