Gentle Suggestions

This is not an advice column

Trying to survive in current circumstances feels hard. How do we find joy? How do we make this time one that feels good while feeling overall bad?

Hello.

This feels so vague and I struggle when things are vague. When you say the current circumstances….do you mean American politics? The economy on the brink of collapse? The overall very bad political vibe around the globe? Or some specific circumstance in your life I don’t know about?

I wrote a couple weeks ago about going through a depressive episode. I believe I have come out of it but it has kept me from writing and from feeling like myself. I guess I’m bringing depression into this because I personally don’t need the outside vibe to be this bad to keep me from being able to access joy. My broken brain can make any day of any year feel like hell. I’m also bringing depression into it because one of the unmissable signs of depression is “a loss of interest or pleasure in activities previously enjoyed.” I love medical terminology so much because it is very sparse and economic. Effective writing honestly.

Anyway, are you depressed? Because it’s possible you are. It’s not hard to figure out actually. You can look up the self-administered PHQ-9 (Patient Health Questionnaire-9) and take the test online. You can also talk to a doctor which is what I really recommend. I encounter a lot of people who are cripplingly depressed and refuse the possibility and realities of a diagnosis. Instead they rant about big P Politics and feel despondent about events happening in countries whose capitals they can’t spell. The current circumstances as you call them have these people feeling extra hopeless right now.

You asked two very big questions and I will start with the second one. I really do not know how to make this time feel good because I am not sure that it should feel good. I was listening to the UN Humanitarian Chief on the BBC and he made it very clear, in the most stark words he could use that 14,000 Palestinian babies could die in the next 48 hours because of the Israeli blockade. 14,000 babies. It’s all over the news now and I see people share that stat all over social media. 14,000 babies is a lot of babies. I do think of myself as someone who cannot and does not accept the death of just one baby. There are no reasons, political or not that could make me accept that but man, 14 000 is a number I cannot wrap my brain around.

I heard Tom Fletcher’s words loud and clear. Then later this morning, I walked into the gifting suite of a clothing brand I like. I saw people I love there. We shopped together—it’s all free by the way— and the women who work for the clothing brand sent me home with pastries and sandwiches. I confided in one of them that I am worried about money and she told me something equally vulnerable about her current situation. And yet here we were in this Old World cafe society vibe establishment eating canelés and deciding which color espadrille would be best for my summer wardrobe. It does not feel good to have champagne problems when babies are dying. It should not feel good.

Not all of my problems are champagne problems and I imagine that is the same for you.